Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Cooking Is Crafting You Can Eat - Banana Patties

I love crafting but cooking is equally fun! These are delicious, warm banana patties with a fruit topping. As satisfying as pancakes but better for you!

Ingredients for patties
1 ripe to over-ripe banana
1 egg
Pinch of salt

1. Peel and mash the banana.
2. Mix in the egg. The batter will be a bit lumpy, no worries. Add a pinch of salt.
3. Cook like pancakes in small patties. These do not have the structural integrity of a pancake so they are harder to flip - don't give in to the temptation to make giant patties!

Ingredients for topping
1/4 cup frozen unsweetened fruit - I like dark cherries or mixed berries but you can use any frozen fruit.
Honey to taste - I like this better a bit in the tart side but feel free to sweeten to your heart's desire

1. Combine fruit and honey in a small saucepan. Cook on med-low until the fruit has softened.
2. Reduce to low and allow juices to thicken. Stir frequently and watch the heat - this burns easily!

This is a recipe for one serving - add one banana, one egg and another 1/4 of fruit for each additional serving.

Top the patties with the fruit, make yourself some coffee, and consume luxuriously while wearing a soft bathrobe. You're worth it. I like to have 1/4 of cottage cheese with this to have cut some of the sweet. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Shameless Filler is Shameless

This isn't my normal thing but this idea was just too clever not to share. As you can tell by my hideous cuticles, I'm not much good at keeping my nails nice but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy a fun manicure every now and then!

This video is beauty guru Michelle Phan's instructions on how to do this nifty heart manicure using cheap plastic band aids. Check it out!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Updates! Sort of!

Hi all! I know, I'm a bad blogger who doesn't update enough. So sorry! BUT coming soon: quilted tablet sleeves, super simple glasses holder, and maybe that video I promised (assuming I can force Linux to play nice with my camera). I promise!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Splicer Mask

Happy Halloween!

One of my favorite video games is Bioshock. Set in a dystopian society located in a vast underwater city, Bioshock is a gritty FPS with a lush environment and impressive atmosphere. There are a variety of character designs in this game, everything from the overwhelmingly complex Big Daddies to frighteningly creepy Little Sisters.

One of the more iconic images from the game is the bunny masquerade mask worn by the enemies called Splicers. Splicers wear fairly simple clothing other than that mask so I decided to go with it.

Materials:

- One blank half mask
- Plastic cross stitch canvas
- 2 inch masking tape
- Newspaper
- Flour and water for paper mache paste (I will explain this further in a bit)
- White Gesso or white acrylic paint
- Metallic acrylic paint
- Watercolors
- Gloss Mod Podge or any other sealant
- Red acrylic
- Ribbon

Tools:

- Heavy duty craft scissors
- Craft knife or X-Acto Knife

1. Start with your basic half mask. I could not find a blank one so I started with a simply decorated one from a party supply store.


I removed the elastic band and the raised sequined trim from the edges to make a flatish surface to start with. The whole thing is about to be covered in masking tape, so don't worry too much about making a perfect starting surface. I also enlarged the holes wear the elastic band was with a craft knife.



2. Use the plastic cross stitch canvas and masking tape to begin reshaping the mask. I failed to take pictures of this process. Sorry. Here's how it looked when I finished this step.


Seems a little flat, right? Don't worry, that will be remedied a bit further on.

3. Now you are going to paper mache over the mask to create a smooth surface. Rip the newspaper into one inch wide strips, cut edges do not blend in well. Mix flour and water until you get a paste mixture that is roughly the consistency of extra buttery grits. (For non-Southerners, as thick as cream of wheat? I don't know, call a Southern friend and ask them about it.) Do not put more than two strips over a single area. Thick paper mache does not dry well and can mold from the inside out. Wrap thin strips through the eye holes, paper mache right over the ribbon holes - you will poke those back through later.

Once you have the whole thing smoothed and covered front and back, you are going to bake your mask. I know, it sounds strange, but trust me. Using aluminum foil, created a prop to go under the tips of the ears and first bake the mask face up at 175 for about 10 - 15 minutes.

Now flip the mask over, prop the ears up from the middle this time, and use aluminum foil to bend the mask into a U shape. Bake again for 10 - 15 minutes at 175.






This serves two purposes: you will kick start the drying process on the paper mache and you will get the curves set into the mask that will make it look more like the ceramic masks in the game.

Now leave it to dry overnight propped face down like you see in the picture.

4. When you are sure the paper mache is completely dry, cover the front of the mask with a thick layer of white Gesso. The thick layer of Gesso will dry with a crackled surface, ideal for the aged, beaten look you want on this mask. Once that is dry, Gesso the back in the same way. Let the Gesso dry completely.

5. Using a stiff detail brush, paint the designs onto the mask with metallic paint. I used an aged copper color and didn't stick with the design in the game besides the nose and outline. If you want a strictly realistic mask, check out some close ups of the bunny masks from the game marketing materials.



6. Once the details are dry, it's time to age the mask. I used a craft knife to cut a large, meandering crack down one side of the mask. Then I painted dirt onto the mask using a wash of brown and green translucent watercolors. Don't be afraid to really smudge it up - you are a mutated madman living in a slowly decaying underwater dystopia. I also aged the backs of the ears as they will stick up above my head when I wear the mask. Once all that is dry, poke through the ribbon holes with a craft knife from the front and use a thin coat of glossy Mod Podge or your preferred sealant to seal the whole thing.




It's hard to tell in this picture, but that mask looks totally grimy and old, trust me.


7. So blood spatter. Some Splicer masks I've seen are COVERED in blood. I prefer a little less blood, so my theory was to do one big spray like I had stabbed someone in the jugular. I got this effect by slinging paint from a very loaded brush. Do this outdoors. It is VERY MESSY.





And that's it. Add some ribbon (or elastic but ribbon looks better) to hold it on.

All in all, the cost of the mask depends on what you already have. If you are an avid crafter who already has the paint and varnish, this craft is fairly cheap: $1.50 for the mask, $2 for the plastic cross stitch canvas. Use a bit of re-purposed ribbon. If you need to purchase all the components, this can get pricey - Mod Podge alone will cost at least $8 for the container BUT it has a ton of uses and you don't use much.

As for the rest of the costume, head to your local thrift store and look at party dresses. I went on .99 cent day and picked up an old fashioned-looking velvet number and a pair of patent black pumps. Add some black, torn up pantyhose, some old fashioned makeup, and a weapon of choice (pipes are easiest) and you have a fun, affordable costume!

Have fun, happy Halloween!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Updates! I'm back! Crafts!

Hi!

I haven't been here in a while. Sorry about that. It's been a crazy almost-year.

BUT, I have exciting news! I will be uploading the first VIDEO blog post very soon! Once I work through some technical difficulties involving Ubuntu and it's incompatibility with EVERYTHING, it will be golden.

Are you excited? Get excited!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Knitting With a Cause

(I know, I didn't do the post on Sunday. I'm sorry. Forgive me?)

This is a project with a purpose! Help out penguins by making Penguin Sweaters! They put these on the little guys to keep them from picking at their oily feathers after an oil spill. It also keeps them warm until their natural oils come back.

They also make the penguins look ADORABLE. So there's that.

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Timeline for Furniture Nerds

A timeline of the history of furniture from 1550 to 1960.

Click a section to get a break down on the right of period names. The only thing that it is really missing is pictures. I would blow a nerd gasket if it had pictures.